My First Wallpaper for Gandhi Ashram School

Hair and Care

There can never be a dull moment when you are working on a creative project with girls. They can digress into complete disjointed areas of discussion and then come back suddenly unexpectedly. Recently, I was working with my friends Teyesha and Ruth on ideas of mini-videos to be played at intervals during orchestral pieces.

While ‘brainstorming’, they suddenly switched to ‘hair-grow’ thoughts.  What makes Teyesha’s hair grow so beautifully well? Good ‘Hair-grow’ thoughts was the answer! You stimulate your hair roots with good hair-grow thoughts. I am repeating the crucial words here because they did the same to me. They repeated to assure me that I was not hearing wrongly. Good hair-grow thoughts really works, it seems :) It is a cross between Vedic meditation and unidirectional thinking.

When I asked them to elaborate they came with more tips to grow good hair. Let me share them with you. Some might help you :)

2. Stimulate your scalp with good massages

3. Potent combination of Shikakai (Acacia Concinna) and Reeta (Soap Nut)

4. Kailamvadam Tailam! (I hope my spelling is right!)

5. Papaya for soft hair

6. Amla (Indian gooseberry) for dark, shiny hair

7. Avoid shampoos that contain Sodium Laurate Sulphate as it dries the scalp.

After I carefully noted them down, we went back to our ‘brainstorming’. 

Nashik and Nirmala

Managed to catch Nirmala this time when I visted Nashik (in October); or rather she caught me. She saw me slipping-by and called out to me as if I was a thief. I was slowing heading towards the washroom at the Infant Jesus Shrine in Nashik, after my stay with my slum family. She saw my hunch across the hall and through the window. I guess she saw my bag first. Over the years, my bags have become synonymous with me. They are like extension of my identity.

Anyway, she recognized me and could not contain her excitement. “Aye fellow! Where were you running away!” Her hands swung in my direction in her trademark style. We spoke for long this time. For the first time in 3 years, I could speak to her without the fear of being late or being caught. I realized this as the talk went on and on. What seemed to be a 10-minute interruption was almost an hour of consolation and rejuvenation. I wanted to meet someone else (Cheryl who stays across the street) but didn’t bother to interrupt till I had an official appointment to look into (the chief reporter of Deshdoot, Nashik).

She is still the same – the excitement in her voice, the maternal instincts in her tone and the concern in her words. She sounded genuine like always. In the past, her spontaneity was always interrupted abruptly by my former Master. This time he wasn’t around to do the un-required. He wasn’t controlling me and I was delighted. Today, I was free from his unnecessary bonds of insecurity.

The concern she displayed to me this time round spanned over years of experience. She told me stories of old, from the innumerable years of experience of dealing with Jesuits (and former Jesuits) that life has reserved for her. We’ve all seen her flair in connecting to Jesuit novices… or rather, Jesuit novices reciprocate to her maternal love that they miss in the novitiate in the dryness of days... subconsciously.

All novices know her as Nirmala, no prefix or suffix required. No additional ‘ji’ to denote respect. Everyone respected her… but it was beyond the mandatory ‘aap’ of Hindi and ‘tumhi’ of Marathi.

Finally to conclude the discussion, she spoke of God’s plan for me. God’s plan beyond human actions… and the God who allows difficult situations for greater ideas. He is brilliant beyond words but we fail to acknowledge it only because we do not understand. This time I believed in these words. For the first time in the past few months, I could sense the gravity and fullness in my belief in God’s plan for me. I had made that leap today – when I met her!

In addition, the emphasis this time was on ‘greater’. This time I believed in the greater… majorem… magis…  after all these months, I could see it and believe in it… that God has something greater in store. This greater is not quantitative. It is just immeasurably good. It is not an assurance of peace and joy but of his utility of me. The utility that will give me my sense of fulfillment and achievement.

From being underestimated and under-utilized with the Jesuits, to living a life of being fully human and fully alive. How dear those words have been to me since someone scribbled them in a card describing me! The words of St. Iraneaus that summarises my vocation as a human. The conviction that was once visible in my eyes. This is what is in store is for me… and the conviction is life-transforming.

I’ve taken my time in accepting and changing… and it is due to my own character. I indulge in my own endothermic and exothermic reactions. :) now, I feel like I have arrived!

The Glow of Arunima

I met her yesterday and I can still feel the grip of her hand on my pinkie. Her little hand, small but firm. Today morning as I walked to my workplace, I looked at her and thanked God for the experience. She gripped my imagination when all was done... and decided to stay on. Sweet Destiny’s Child. God Bless!

It often happens to me. Nothing works according to plan. Life always leaves a mark on me unexpectedly. I am not sure if it does unintentionally too. A colleague invited me over for a Spider Trail organised by the Bombay Natural History Society. I roped in another friend. It was supposed to be a morning filled with spiders and clogged with webs, with some wasps and dragon-flies thrown in for excitement. And so it was. A novice to the way nature trails are conducted but my skill in gardening and penchant for hiking pulled me in. I loved the idea and the search ;)

But then something unexpected happened. Almost towards the end of the trail, a small girl came to me to show me a spider in a glasscase. I called out Virgil, my friend to have a look. “Conductor”, I called out. But she stopped me. She told me, “I will go and show it to your brother.” I have some reservations in calling Virgil my brother. But before I could even comprehend what this babe had said, she ran through the stony track for about 50 metres and showed it to Virgil. After receiving the usual gasps of wonder, she headed back to me and held my little finger. She gripped it so tight that I could feel myself being pulled down to her height. I wanted to bend down and smile... but she didn’t allow me to. She began to walk.

Then, it was her running all over the place. Falling and scraping her jeans and yet, standing back and getting back to business – running. The last 20 minutes were spent with her firm grip on my finger. She never let go except when she crossed a piece of mucky land on her own without help. She didn’t want me to carry her. Four years old, Arunima – energetic and independent. A spirit so beautiful that I can be mesmerised for ages. Is God wonderful or is Arunima awe-inspiring?

Since I’ve returned from the Jesuit Novitiate, I feel an aversion for marriage (for myself). Even the idea of my own children doesn’t seem to be worth anymore. I feel like I am not meant for either. No husband-ship for me and no Father-hood. I desire a life of a hermit. My friends would disagree. May be I would too... but the idea predominantly captures my long-term aspirations.  But this girl asked me why through unspoken words. I felt like I would love to have the grip of a child like that of Arunima for posterity. Then, what confuses me or what makes me rigid. She was loud to me and yet, no one heard those words but me. Her name means – the red glow of dawn. Will she spell a new dawn for me? Only time will tell. 

I don’t know who she is and where she lives. May the mystery be alive for me always... and in due time, I will meet her again someday... when I am ready to be challenged for some more questions! Till then, may God will accept my humble prayers for her... whenever I pray...