Dancing In Our Tears

Birthdays are special. Days that are worth making special. To see that pure, unadulterated joy in the eyes of your loved ones and cherishing the moments for an eternity makes all the difference… even if you are a lost star… because none of us can be a star so lost that they fail to emit the light that we are destined to. Just looking into the eyes and listening to stories untold in words… and when I see that, it warms up my heart… as it was meant to be.

I wonder why I don’t want anyone to remember my birthday. There have been days or rather years when I have celebrated it, even without pomp but certainly with blessings and graces that were littered all around like stardust going on for octaves. But largely, I shy away from those days of my life. Notoriously, I have disappeared on people, gone into seclusion, unreachable, untraceable, in the presence of the unknown. 

Birthdays are certainly special… but in a different way for me. I wish I could just sit back and relax and allow the day to pass by in oblivion. Too rational to let it happen just that way, possibly. But it is not in isolation, devoid of thoughts and joy. It just ceases to be another day. I was born into this world with much pain and sufferings on this day. The stories that I have known of my arrival are many, effectively passed down through nuggets of legends. The genesis of my own existence can certainly be of doubtful celebrations. 

So on birthday, I don’t celebrate my birth but my life; the journey filled with joys and sufferings unaccounted for; the sprinkling of seasons in a symbiotic world of cupids, demons, Spirit and ice. Per Aspera Ad Astra. I count every minute on this day. I count every moment gifted, every person graced, every emotion granted. Tears and gratitude. Subtle existence of counting every person gifted across the world; people known and people yet to know. It is not a day-long journey in isolation but walking through the hallows of life lived. Sitting back, walking through, presenting self, lying down, staring up the sky, waiting for the raindrops - all culminating into those moments of yearnings for more that this life has to offer; garnering energy and moving on together.

I wish for the rain on this day assured by the monsoon season of India; to hide the tears. I wish for the blowing wind during the day for goosebumps; to ensure awakening. I wish for the elusive touch devoid of malice or doubt; knowing that it can heal  in ways unknown. I wish for the silence that speaks to the heart; to walk along through times difficult. I wish for music that teleports disturbing best laid plans; remembering the spontaneity of the wild heart struggling through the reasons of the mind. 

Searching for meaning, rarely finding answers; asking more questions and seeking solace in the unknown. I wish I could write the perfect fantasy but that is not my forte. My life is much more real than I can swallow. 

Being blessed is defined as being surrounded by friends and family. They still remember despite all efforts. They are my eternal assurance of things done right and paths strewn with graces immeasurable. I never forget that I am blessed. I never forget that you are all part of my life… awaiting every moment to cross paths again and cherish a hug once again. We are not lost stars. We still light up paths. We will continue to do so. 

Lost Stars

written by Brisebois, Danielle / Alexander, Gregg / Lashley, Nick / Southwood, Nick.

"Lost Stars" is an original song performed by Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine for the film Begin Again.

Please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies

Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see
Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand
I'd be damned Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears and

God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy?
Woe is me, if we're not careful turns into reality
Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears and

God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying
Just the same

God, give us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and this lamb is on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying

But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?
But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?